Tough Love
Sometimes I wonder if I’m tougher on my daughter than I am on my boys. Tonight I had another crying dramatic scene with her as she was working through the subtraction problems. I became so annoyed with her when she was just sitting there looking dazed as if she couldn’t recall the easy math facts. And then came, of course, the “I can’t” phrase. Well, those 2 words push my buttons quicker than just about anything, especially with her. I know her all too well. She can turn the water works on quickly when she’s not interested in something, and she can quickly turn them off when it suits her. I lit into her with my words and had no sympathy. I made her sit there and finish the assigned problems while ridiculing her for her attitude. Now, I must admit that these particular problems were being done at 10:00 at night while eating a very late dinner of scallops and broccoli, so I appreciate the fact that she was very tired. I thought to myself that I must be a bit on the nutty side requiring such of her and I admittedly felt briefly ashamed of myself. That was until she had finally solved her problems. The tears quickly vanished once she was released from my stronghold and allowed to go play Legos with her brother before retiring. So, I then realized she was playing me, at least a little. I don’t know. It’s a struggle for me to know just how far to push them.
I’m off to finally retire. I didn’t work out but instead ate several peppermint cookies. Sometimes you just need to eat a cookie or two.
This week will be another shortened academic week, as we are considering taking a family vacation this month. I’ve got to get my mind around packing yet again but with more people to factor into the mix.
Happy Veteran’s day to you. Both my husband and I served many years in the Air Force, so we appreciate the pause and remember holiday.
There should be a fire or a large amount of blood
I’ve been reading a bit on various parenting styles trying to gather helpful information for myself as we enter the middle school years.
Here’s one thing you won’t find as the norm in our household-screaming. Screaming or yelling has always made me nervous in a home. I did not have that kind of environment growing up, so maybe that’s why I don’t like it. Maybe it’s because I’m a physician by trade, and by the mere requirement of the job, one cannot become unnecessarily excited in order to care for the patient. You have to always remain calm and controlled. Maybe a fire or large volumes of blood might demand a bit of haste on my part or even raising my voice a notch higher could be needed then, but that’s about it. Maybe it’s because I don’t envision my Creator as being a yeller. Regardless, I find yelling in the home unnatural, unnerving and unnecessary. I try to promote a peaceful environment in the schoolroom although I do get frustrated or stressed when I’m not teaching effectively or I’m not managing the day or studies in a productive manner. I do get tears from my daughter at times and complaints from the boys when they don’t want to read their history or work on their math pages. I just don’t find that yelling is required. They do what I ask them to do because we have a mutual respect for one another combined with their recognition that my requests have their best interests at heart. We discuss the reasons behind my requests frequently. They might not like the requests, but they get it. No mind games are needed. Have I ever yelled at my children? Yes. Is it my norm? No.
Off to prep for tomorrow-an Eagle Mother’s work is never done.
P.S.-My mother-in-law is pictured below celebrating at the Sunrise Service, but the picture makes me giggle because it reminds me of some commercial you’d see for feminine protection or a yogurt product or something. Then, my picture makes me look like I need the product she’s selling. Too funny..I don’t do mornings well.
An isolating and lonely process
As a homeschooler, you are constantly questioning almost every choice that you make, and you’re really in no-man’s land much of the time.
I’ve had to wrestle with my choice to homeschool most recently in the area of the dreaded and probably hated word “socialization”. It’s one thing for you, as the educator, to feel isolated amongst your friends who may not be having a similar daily schedule. It’s another thing when your child is feeling left out. I’m constantly monitoring who my kids hang out with or don’t hang out with. Odds are, they’d have more friends and be invited to more social-type events if they were in a public or private school. But, I guess after acknowledging the likelihood of that happening, you just have to get over it and press on if you feel homeschooling is in the best interest of your particular child. Maybe your child won’t understand all of your reasons for a very long time, but you hope that if this is the right decision, then they’ll look back with fond memories and understand and appreciate the process better. And, of course, to help my rationale to myself, I can always argue that not all socialization is beneficial. Who knows. I better get some sleep. It’s 1 a.m and tomorrow’s election day!
*P.S.-Portrait is by Marion and Gary Silber of Jackson, Mississippi.
Devastation, global warming, the election
Sitting here late at night watching CNN and seeing the devastation that the east coast suffered, particularly our home state of Jersey and neighboring NY. Our power was restored this morning. I had friends from the south asking me how things were up here, and I didn’t know because I hadn’t seen anything on tv. Seeing it now is humbling. I kept teaching through the powerless hours, but I’m thinking we need to completely stop academics for now and find out where we can help. More to follow on that..
Well, election day is approaching. Hope you get out there and cast your vote!
Ivy League Homeschooling 